Tomorrow my beloved Philadelphia Eagles will invade University Of Phoenix Stadium to lay a colossal whuppin’ on the Arizona Cardinals in the NFC Championship Game and propel themselves into the Super Bowl (where they will then proceed to pop open another huge motor oil-sized can of azz whup on whoever represents the AFC, probably the Pittsburgh Steelers but it could be the B-More Ravens instead… who cares? They’re all just cannon fodder). In honor of this inevitable happening, I am dropping a couple of different mixes of Public Enemy‘s “By The Time I Get To Arizona” and also some of my favorite versions of the classic “By The Time I Get To Phoenix”. You’ve had a nice run, Redbirds, but it’s time to return to the reality that you and your miserable fans have been living like Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day” for the last 70 years or so. The reality of FAIL. Enjoy the music, and I’ll enjoy the victory cigar tomorrow night.
BTW, the PE song is so appropriate seeing that the day after the Eagles’ victory will be the King Holiday AND the day after that will be the inauguration of my president, Barack Obama. Two things I must add- one, on Monday, to celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King (and to just be a good person) I advise everyone out there who can do it to participate in a Day Of Service and volunteer your time somewhere in your community for a few hours. And two, to all the folks going to D.C. on Tuesday to get your revelry on, please keep it civil and wonderful and all that schitt. No drunken line dancing in the streets, please. This is gonna be a cool next few days.
BY THE TIME I GET TO PHOENIX-
Mighty Doug Haynes
The Gaylads (pause)
(special thanks to Willie Fugal, Reynaldo and my pals at Soulstrut for song suggestions)