THAT LEGENDARY WILLIE D VS. MELE MEL CELEBRITY RAPPER FIGHT YOU’VE ALWAYS HEARD ABOUT


 Talk about your lost classics- I’ve heard about this slug fest between microphone greats Mele Mel and Willie D from May 24th, 1992 ever since… well, not too long after May 24th, 1992. The accounts of Mel going down due to an inadvertent head butt look to be accurate but it’s hard to see, Willie might’ve snuck that sneaky left in there and tapped Mel’s jaw phantom style, like Muhammad Ali sockin’ the sh*t out of Sonny Liston with that good ol’ anchor punch that Stepin Fetchit taught him how to throw. Maybe Bushwick Bill taught Willie a similar punch? I know, I’m grasping at straws but anything’s possible. 
Well, like I said I first learned about this fight not long after it happened but I think this is my first time seeing it. For the rest of you who’ve never seen it, here ya go. You can also read the original Source magazine article about it here. To the cat who dug this footage up, if you’re out there and you have the Freddie Foxxx-administered legal azz-whuppin’s that took place at this event please post them as well when you get a minute. Every rapper talks about how they’ll f**k somebody up, but it’s always nice to see them actually do it.   

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NBA PLAYOFFS

Any NBA hoops fans out there checkin’ in at THAT REAL SCHITT? Probably not many, if any. Well, although NFL football is my number one passion as a sports fan, I follow teh pro basketball pretty tough too. Playoffs start today, and I got Cleveland and Lebron James to win it all this year. Why? Well, because I love the cohesion of this team right now… these dudes are TOGETHER (I actually thought about changing my pick because they’ve been going overboard with the clowning around on the bench- kinda juvenille and not the right look for a champion- but f*** it, they’re having fun and that swagger may actually help them when schitt gets tight). The Lakers will be hard to beat with Bynum back, but I dunno… I just like the Cavs, man. And as great as Kobe is, I like Lebron over him at this point in their careers. It would be a great matchup in the finals anyway you look at it (I don’t think David Stern would have it any other way). Darkhorses- watch out for those Nuggets out west. I’d like to see Atlanta shock somebody in the east… I think it’s possible in the 2nd round. Ultimately, though… Cavs over Lakers in seven (homecourt will make the difference).

BY THE TIME WE GET TO ARIZONA… Y’ALL IN TROUBLE

Tomorrow my beloved Philadelphia Eagles will invade University Of Phoenix Stadium to lay a colossal whuppin’ on the Arizona Cardinals in the NFC Championship Game and propel themselves into the Super Bowl (where they will then proceed to pop open another huge motor oil-sized can of azz whup on whoever represents the AFC, probably the Pittsburgh Steelers but it could be the B-More Ravens instead… who cares? They’re all just cannon fodder). In honor of this inevitable happening, I am dropping a couple of different mixes of Public Enemy‘s “By The Time I Get To Arizona” and also some of my favorite versions of the classic “By The Time I Get To Phoenix”. You’ve had a nice run, Redbirds, but it’s time to return to the reality that you and your miserable fans have been living like Bill Murray in “Groundhog Day” for the last 70 years or so. The reality of FAIL. Enjoy the music, and I’ll enjoy the victory cigar tomorrow night.
BTW, the PE song is so appropriate seeing that the day after the Eagles’ victory will be the King Holiday AND the day after that will be the inauguration of my president, Barack Obama. Two things I must add- one, on Monday, to celebrate the life and legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King (and to just be a good person) I advise everyone out there who can do it to participate in a Day Of Service and volunteer your time somewhere in your community for a few hours. And two, to all the folks going to D.C. on Tuesday to get your revelry on, please keep it civil and wonderful and all that schitt. No drunken line dancing in the streets, please. This is gonna be a cool next few days.

BY THE TIME I GET TO PHOENIX-
Dorothy Ashby

Willie Tee

Mighty Doug Haynes

Moses Dillard

Azymuth

The Gaylads (pause)

(special thanks to Willie Fugal, Reynaldo and my pals at Soulstrut for song suggestions)

PHILLY IS STEPPIN’ IN


Sorry, Giants fans, but the NFC divisional playoffs are over and the Eagles just kicked your azzes. Arizona is next (Arizona? Arizona??? Oh, hell to tha naw, the Cardinals ain’t got a chance of stopping us from going to Tampa). I’ll get into this more after Kurt Warner gets sent fishin’, I just wanted to do a little bit of gloating at Giants fans’ expense.
Now, I’m sure many if not most of you who are coming to this site have no interest in good ol’ American NFL football and have no idea what I am talking about. That’s okay- for you I will just drop a rare classic old school Philly Hip Hop record, this one being the first Schoolly D record, “Gangster Boogie” b/w “Maniac” from 1984. This is the ORIGINAL original pressing, not the reissue 12″ with the yellow label that somebody pressed up after Schoolly School made it with “P.S.K.” and all that (if I remember right that re had all kinds of synths and keys and schitt dubbed on top… not THAT REAL SCHITT).
I did have a scan of the OG 12″ label but, alas, it was one of the many casualties of the infamous external hard drive disaster that went down ’bout a year ago. Couldn’t find a scan online (EDIT: actually I did find it courtesy of one of the great people over at the DWG forum and you can now see it here as was my original intention), so instead just look at the above picture of living legend Brian Dawkins, hear his words echo in your head (DOMINATION! SNOT BUBBLES! CRAZY EYES!), and, if you’re a Giants’ fan, begin to weep.

SCHOOLLY D – Gangster Boogie
SCHOOLLY D – Maniac

THE STATE OF THAT REAL SCHITT AND OTHER STUFF OF IMPORTANCE TO ME


I’ve been getting some e-mails and messages asking why I haven’t been adding much new content to the blog recently. Good question. To be for real for real, I just haven’t been all that into THAT REAL SCHITT recently. Don’t let me be misunderstood, I still love the real just as much as always. But what seems to happens to us as we get older is that… well, life happens. REALLY real schitt. So as much as we may still enjoy some of the things that consumed our lives earlier on, we just don’t have as much time for that schitt as it gets later. Which is why you have all these millions of people who once rode hard for that boom bap style Hip Hop, and suddenly, presto- their old azzes done seemingly vanished. They’re still around and they still like the real schitt, but they’re too busy trying to pay bills and battling with baby mamas and running from the cops after violating probation for the 3rd time and doing stints in rehab and whatever the hell else they’re doing. Like I said, really real schitt.
Luckily I have managed to navigate through my own life fairly successfully, so my worst drama is stuff like going to parent / teacher conferences. And even those are pretty drama free since both of my kids are A students and very well behaved (Daddy Phill accepts nothing less, believe dat). But still, raising children and maintaining a household is serious work- both time consuming and tiring. Joyful and rewarding work, no doubt, but work nonetheless. And although I’d like to tell you I have the stamina of gorillas injected with the strength of eighty midgets, the truth is that ol’ boy gets worn out on a daily basis and honestly has no desire to stay up until three in the morning trying to put together halfway decent THAT REAL SCHITT posts on the regular. So this is what it is- I’m not gonna shut down the blog or anything, but I’m just gonna post something whenever I can. It’s probably gonna continue to be infrequent, but check back here every now and then and see if there’s any new content. Or I guess you can subscribe to one of those RSS feeds or something? I don’t even know how that schitt works. But whatever… I’ll be back from time to time, so keep checking in.


This has actually been a pretty great week for me- Wednesday night the Phillies won the world championship, which was the first here in Philly in 25 years. Went to the parade yesterday- looked like everybody in the whole damn CITY was downtown representing! Took my youngin’s down to be a part of history, and even though we had to break out early due to my little girl being slightly horrified by the drunken celebrating and public urinating that was going on all around us, it was a GREAT thing to see my city revelling after so many years of being denied that ultimate prize. Like Chase Utley said at the celebration : “World champions. World F*CKIN’ champions!” It was a pretty perfect day.


This past Tuesday I went to a rally at Widener University in Chester, Pennsylvania for the man who will be the next president of the United States, my homeboy Barack Obama. I’d like to say that this was also a perfect day, but for most of it it was HORRIBLE. I left my house at about 6:30 am and it was raining, but I was expecting it to be a light rain that would end later in the morning and the temperature would be mild (I have tvs all over my house that I could’ve watched the weather report on, plus radios, internet access and even the weather widget on my iphone- yet for some reason I had no real information on what the weather would be, just my own uneducated guesswork). I bounce out the house rockin’ the ‘Lo leather and had a little $5 umbrella in the whip in case I needed it. BAD MOVE. I get out to the rally and the line to get into the event is long as F*CK. The morning chill turned into a bitter coldness. The light rain turned into a cotdamn downpour. And the wind is whipping right the f*ck THROUGH us. But I’m here now, so I’m gonna try to tough it out. Another bad move- I shoulda got the f*ck back into my ride and took my azz the hell back to Philly as soon as I saw how that line went around the block and down a few more blocks.
The next hint that this was not someplace I wanted to be at was when I learned while standing in line that this was going to be an outdoor rally- I was under the impression it this was gonna be held indoors (the main reason why I dressed rather lightly). And that they were not going to allow umbrellas at the event. WTF??? x 1,000. By this time I’d been in line for about 90 minutes and was soaked, even with the $5 umbrella. The cold azz wind had me frozen to the bone. Man, this was some bad schitt! I’m telling you, as a dude who grew up through some arctic-like winters in Connecticut with no heat in the house, this was possibly the worst weather-related experience I ever had to endure. But there was no turning back at this point- I’m already all f*cked up, so I might as well stay to see Barack so at least I won’t have gone through this bullschitt for nothing. My final indignation: seeking shelter in a cotdamn porta potty for the last 45 minutes before Obama hit the stage (and I tell you, thank God for that piss-closet, because I don’t think I would’ve made it standing out in that freezing torrential rain for another 45 minutes).
But believe me when I say this- once Barack Obama hit the stage (and early, thankfully) it made my whole ordeal worthwhile. Seriously. Not that he said anything new, but as a black man who’s grandmother used to tell him about her grandfather who was born in slavery (so we’re really not talking about very many generations ago), what’s going to happen this coming Tuesday is huge beyond anything I ever could’ve imagined. So I can’t even tell you how important it was for me to see this man in person. And look, Barack is no messiah… who knows how things are gonna go for the next four years. He’s not Martin or Malcolm either- he’s still a politician and he plays some of the same games that every politician has to play. But I do believe that he’s a good man who is gonna do everything in his power to get this f*cked up situation that America is in right again. It’s not even close that he’s America’s best hope. And I think that’s the word right there for me- HOPE. That’s something that most black people in this country have never had, and there’s no way that you can improve your life, your family, your community, your condition if you don’t have that four letter word. On Tuesday America is gonna elect a black President Of The United States- how can you NOT have hope once that happens? Everybody get out there and vote and let’s ensure that it goes down. So I f*cked up my ‘Lo leather… what the hell, it was time to upgrade anyway. It was worth it.

MUSIC TO VOTE TO: CJ – Young Politics (excuse the lo-fi MySpace mp3s… if anybody has this in higher quality please holla at a pimp. And if you have the shelved CJ album PRETTY please holla at a pimp… I really need that.)

TELL ME HOW MY WONDERWALLS TASTE

My guy Willie Evans Jr. is a fool for this one… a mash-up of two of the latest Hip-Hop-related disses that have been making the headlines recently, Jay-Z going at the Oasis rocker dude (what’s his name, Noah or Noel something? I forget) and Shaq O’Neal questioning his arch nemesis Kobe Bryant about whether he finds his anus delicious or not (PAUSE). So Willie takes the two already infamous Youtube clips, chops them up and makes his own remix video out of them. Didn’t I tell your azzes a long time ago that Willie Evans Jr. was the future? You gotta rock that Soulja Boy / Ice-T thing for the next one, Willie… somebody out there has probably already done it but I’m sure you could flip it better.

NFL 2007

Most of y’all who are here reading this blog probably are not all that interested in NFL football (as in AMERICAN football, not to be confused with the sport with the guys running around in shorts kicking a round white ball all over the place that’s probably the most popular sport everywhere in the world EXCEPT America). Well, I am an avid NFL fan and during this time of year football pretty much dominates almost everything in my universe. So I’m gonna briefly cover what’s going on in the league hopefully on a weekly basis for the duration of the season. Any football fans out there please join me in my NFL fanaticism, leave comments, rep your squad, whuteva… those who are not interested just chill until I drop the next Cold Crush tape or break mix (i’ll keep you fed, don’t worry).
Views on the season so far- AFC: the Patriots would be hard to beat even if they DIDN’T have tape recordings of the signals of all 31 other teams. With the signals they STEAMROLL everybody. Bob Sanders is a beast for the Colts. Matt Schaub is the real deal and Houston might be pretty damn good this year. Mike Tomlin is gonna be a really good coach in the NFL. Norv Turner never will be. The Bengals will be fun to watch this year, but they will not be a factor in January. Denver… I’m just not buying. There is something about Vince Young and that Titans team… they shouldn’t be very good, but they might actually be a playoff team this season. I think Steve McNair is finished. NFC: Right now I like the Cowboys over everybody in the NFC. What the hell happened to the Saints??? I gave Rex Grossman the benefit of the doubt, but he didn’t deserve it- he really does suck. 49er fans are getting happy… don’t. Not yet. Same with Lions and Cardinals fans (although now that it looks like Arizona has a decent O-line I think they could do some things). The Eagles are not a good team, but Brian Westbrook is a great talent. He’s being wasted in Philly. McNabb is hurt and shouldn’t even be playing. My ass is tired of Andy Reid’s tired ass. Adrian Peterson (the one who plays for the Vikings) is gonna be a MONSTER. Green Bay plays in a hella weak NFC so they’ll win some games but they still aren’t a good team. Overall the league stinks right now. I’ll be back watching next Sunday, though.